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Writer's pictureDaniel Katz, Psy.D

How to tell your kids you are getting a divorce

Updated: Nov 18

Divorce is a difficult decision for any couple to make, and telling your children about it can be even harder. While there is no easy way to break the news to your kids, there are steps you can take to make the process as smooth and as painless as possible.


At Houston Therapy we have worked with many couples separating or going through hard times. We understand the importance of open and honest communication, especially when it comes to your children. In this article, we'll share some tips on how to tell your kids that you're getting a divorce.



Couple having a hard time telling their young daughter they are getting divorced
Family dispute

6 tips for telling your children you are getting divorced


  1. Prepare for the Conversation: Before telling your children about the divorce, it's important to prepare for the conversation. Choose a time when everyone is calm and relaxed, and when there are no distractions. It's best to have the conversation as a family, with both parents present. Plan what you're going to say and how you'll answer any questions that your children may have.

  2. Keep It Simple: When telling your kids about the divorce, keep it simple and age-appropriate. Use language that your children will understand, and avoid giving them more information than they need. Explain that you and your partner have decided to live apart, and that this is not their fault. Reassure them that you both still love them, and that they will continue to have a relationship with both parents.

  3. Be Honest: Honesty is important when telling your children about the divorce. While it's important to keep it simple, it's also important to be honest about the reasons behind the divorce. Avoid blaming your partner or going into too much detail, but be truthful about the fact that you and your partner are no longer able to live together.

  4. Listen to Your Kids: When telling your children about the divorce, it's important to listen to their feelings and concerns. Allow them to express their emotions and answer their questions as honestly as possible. Reassure them that their feelings are valid, and that you understand how difficult this may be for them.

  5. Provide Stability: The news of divorce can be unsettling for children, so it's important to provide stability and routine in their lives. Reassure them that they will still have a home, and that their daily routines will remain the same. Make an effort to continue doing things as a family, such as eating meals together or going on outings.

  6. Seek Professional Help: Divorce is a challenging time for any family, and it's important to seek professional help if needed. Consider seeing a couples therapist or a family therapist who can help you navigate the emotions and challenges of divorce. They can also provide guidance on how to support your children during this time.

In conclusion, telling your kids about your divorce is never easy, but it's important to approach the conversation with honesty and sensitivity. Keep it simple, be honest, listen to your kids, provide stability, and seek professional help if needed.


Remember, divorce is a difficult time for everyone involved, but with the right support and guidance, you and your children can navigate this transition with grace and resilience.




Here at Houston Therapy, we have many therapists that specialize in family therapy and individual therapy with divorced or divorcing couples. You can browse our therapists yourself or reach out to our intake coordinator who can help match you with a therapist based on your needs.



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