Life can get hectic sometimes and it can be overwhelming. We ruminate on the past or worry about the future and when we get stuck in that mentality, that doesn't leave a lot of time to experience the present.
Mindfulness is a present-focused, meditative practice that can help get us unstuck from that mentality. The focus is on the here and now: what am I feeling right now? What am I thinking about right now? While not everyone can fit a full meditation into their day, asking yourself these simple questions can help you regain focus.
Before you begin, find a quiet space where you can sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and let go of any thoughts about your to-do list for the day.
What am I feeling physically?
Thoughts and emotions are often intertwined and complex, while bodily sensations are usually simpler and easier to process. By focusing on our physical sensations, we can momentarily step back from the complexity of our mental and emotional states.
A helpful way to start is to do a mental body scan. Starting with the top of your head, mentally scan through your body and take note of anything that you feel in your body. Do you feel any pain? Are your muscles tense or relaxed? Do you feel warm or cold? What do the clothes you are wearing feel like?
Do this from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. Go slower than you want to. You might find it hard to keep your mind from wandering, but with practice, it will get easier to stay focused.
What am I thinking about?
This is often referred to ask metacognition: thinking about your thoughts. Imagine how an author might describe it in a novel. For example -
Thought: "I was so unproductive today. I'm such a failure!"
Metacognition: "I am thinking about how my unproductiveness makes me a failure."
You can even get more complex with it and add emotion to it.
Thought: "Why didn't my friend pick up the phone when I called?"
Metacognition: "I am thinking about how sad I was when my friend didn't answer the phone."
It can be really hard to avoid an emotional reaction to the things we think about. Metacognition, however, lets us observe our thoughts without getting swept up in the emotions they trigger. It’s like the difference between being caught in the middle of a hurricane and watching it from a safe distance.
What am I feeling emotionally?
Feelings are complicated. They aren't always self-evident and sometimes they hide behind other emotions; anger often hides a number of different emotions. Sometimes we feel two emotions that seemingly conflict with each other; a "bittersweet moment" is a prime example of this. Also, the lines that delineate emotions from each other can be blurry — where does "shocked" end and "dismayed" begin?
In short, emotions are ambiguous, subjective, and difficult to interpret. So how do we handle them?
Don't underestimate the power of naming your emotions. By naming an emotion, you give it shape and definition, making it more tangible and less overwhelming. Think of it like a scene from a horror movie (say, The Exorcist)—naming the demon grants power over it. The same is true for emotions: once named, they become more approachable.
Of course, identifying your emotions can sometimes be tricky. Fortunately, tools like the Feelings Wheel can help you pinpoint and label what you're feeling.
Never fear, Feelings Wheel is here!
Start by identifying which broad category your emotion falls into: angry, disgusted, sad, happy, surprised, bad, or fearful. From there, you can narrow it down to a more specific feeling in the second ring. If you want to go further, explore the outer ring for even more detailed emotions.
Conclusion
The next time you feel like you need to take a step back, give these three questions a try!
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