Maybe aliveness is on a spectrum. Some days, I am happy to be functioning in my body and breathing with a pulse, that’s plenty. Other days, I have this deep longing for connection to myself, to know what is meaningful to me and to do things that excite me. The latter doesn’t always feel accessible, but in my experience, with the support of others and various tools, it becomes increasingly available.
There are about a million reasons not to do the work. By “work”, I mean the action of exploring outdated patterns - the ways we unconsciously operate as a result of our experiences that somehow, deep down, we know don’t support our feelings of aliveness.
Talk therapy, journaling, meditation, and your own unique spiritual practice are all tools for doing the work. We tend to need different tools for the varying ebbs and flows of life.
However you choose to do your work, it’s risky to call our habits to the forefront and see how they hold up to the light. By examining the ways we operate we
Risk losing the safety and comfort that has worked for us so far.
Commit to learning a new way, and giving up feeling like we know what we are doing.
Agree to feel the pain that the old patterns were created to protect.
Sign up for sorting through what can feel intangible and impossible to change.
Accept that people around us might be uncomfortable with the changes.
It can be brutal. Yet, we see all the time people who are deeply committed to the work and have a radical ability to find their aliveness when they decide to do it. Somehow, they uncover awareness of and connection to who they are, and we can see that in the ways they move through the world. In fact, we deeply respect those people who are willing to do the work.
Here are three reasons why the work is worth it:
1. Aliveness is your BIRTHRIGHT.
By the very nature of the universe, our systems are seeking a role, and you are included in that. In the same way the algae in the ocean keep balance and provide nutrients, you have a role that is specific to your desires, genetic makeup, and social location, who you are. It is natural to claim new patterns that align with your continually evolving aliveness.
2. You get to be more fully seen and celebrated.
When we free ourselves from the too-small and outdated structures, our unique aliveness has more room to fully express. People will get to know you, maybe for the first time ever. Doing the work invites new relationships with people who truly see and celebrate you as you are.
3. It’s a huge turn-on.
When we are connected to our aliveness, our system’s response is more energy and focus; that feels good, not only to us but to the people around us. Aliveness gives us access to confidence, sexual expression, and intimate relationships.
Veronica is a therapist because she loves the healing journey and believes relationship is the most powerful catalyst along the way. She is an LMSW, CDWF and certified Vita ™ sex coach. She cares deeply about body awareness and the activation of personal empowerment through desire and creativity.
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